Episode 14 – Take the Emotion Out of It and Other BS Advice

I was listening to a podcast that was advising leaders on how to take the emotion out of delivering difficult news to employees and it got me fired up. I believe taking the emotion out of anything is taking the humanity out of connection. That’s what I’m talking about today: how to be a great leader by working with your emotions. Delivering hard news without emotion makes you come across as cold, hard, and uncaring. That’s not how you want to appear to the people who have done the hard work and their best jobs for you. We aren’t advised to take the emotion out of exciting news or joyful things, so why should we remove it from hard things? I think we do it to avoid feeling uncomfortable. Let’s talk about that. Emotions are not a gendered issue, either. All humans have emotions and leading with compassion is a human quality, not a gendered one. So join me to find out how to lead with emotion in a healthy way. What does that look like? How can we avoid explosive emotions without ignoring them entirely? How do we share our emotions in ways that allow our employees to feel safe in their own emotions as well? Key Moments 03:20  How it looks when delivering hard news without emotion   05:02  Explaining ways in which emotion shows up 09:40  How to manage our emotions before sharing them

  • Partner your logical mind with your emotions before sharing news
  • The importance of creating a safe space for everyone’s emotion
  • The dangers of being emotional to customers but closed off to employees
__ Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:  __
By |2023-11-28T08:05:13-07:00November 28th, 2023|Podcast|Comments Off on Episode 14 – Take the Emotion Out of It and Other BS Advice

Episode 13 – Ruby Cole-Ellis: Generational Business

I love to talk to female entrepreneurs who are embracing the journey. Hearing their stories is inspiring and they often share insights about entrepreneurship that may be a bit different than what we have learned in traditional leadership and business courses. So I’m thrilled today to talk with Ruby Cole-Ellis, founder of The Maby Studio and the Sylvan Lake Chamber of Commerce 2021 Businesswoman of the Year. Ruby is a powerful woman and we explore the powerful women in her family who helped shape her as we talk about generational business.  Ruby’s grandmother was an entrepreneur, a businesswoman and an investor, who raised four children alone in the 60s. I can only imagine the toughness and composure she needed to succeed in a man’s world. Her ability to pivot and always move forward informed the lessons she passed on to her family. Ruby’s mother supported and encouraged all her dreams from the start, understanding that entrepreneurial drive. Generations of women encouraging each other in their goals. There are so many powerful lessons to take away from my conversation with Ruby. The importance of inspiring new generations. The vital aspect of the attitude with which you conduct business. But Ruby also leans into business from a female perspective. She listens to the external seasons and the natural cycles of a woman’s life to inform how she does business. How can we harness our cycles for success? How much are we listening to our own needs? Key Moments 03:49 Learning about Ruby’s grandmother 13:56 Recognizing we are mirrors and why we should reflect calm 27:39 Ruby explaining rhythms and cycle syncing in business

  • Why the saying “sometimes you win, sometimes you learn” from Ruby’s grandmother is so powerful
  • The ability to pivot is part of success
  • Having it all is possible if everything is taken one step at a time, allowing for cycles 
__ About Ruby Cole-Ellis:
  1. Ruby Cole-Ellis is the Owner, Founder and Principal Designer of The Maby Studio. She has almost a decade of design and management experience in Guatemala, El Salvador and Canada.
Ruby holds a Bachelors in Architecture, a Master's in History and a Master's in Architecture & Design from the Francisco Marroquin University in Guatemala. She also possesses a Postgraduate Degree in Management from the University of Calgary and the IEDP ™ Designation (International Event Decorating Professional) by the QC Event School in New York. She recently earned Creative Professional “Mickey Ears” from the Disney Institute™. In late 2016, Ruby was asked to decorate a friend’s wedding. Immediately after that event, she was asked by the Bride’s sister and Maid-of-Honor to help design their upcoming weddings. Seeing the Event Decor industry as an outlet for her creative mind, Ruby founded, “Maby Rentals” on June 1, 2017. The name was inspired by her wedding’s hashtag: #maby (Matt + Ruby). In 2018, the company changed its name to, “The Maby Studio,” evoking a place where design and art are created. The Maby Studio has just celebrated its 400th Event Milestone with clients all across Central Alberta since its inception. The current Company’s Portfolio includes Weddings, Fundraisers, Baby Showers, and Anniversaries. In 2020 The Maby Studio opened its Experience Design Division which includes Corporate Events, Brand Activations and Gifting Design Services. __ Contact Ruby Cole-Ellis | The Maby Studio: __ Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:  __
By |2023-11-21T11:11:34-07:00November 21st, 2023|Podcast|Comments Off on Episode 13 – Ruby Cole-Ellis: Generational Business

Episode 12 – Is Rest Overrated?

I read a study about small business owners that included the statistic that only 1 in 5 small business owners take a regular break from work when needed and that taking time off work didn’t guarantee being rested. How can that be? Today I’m diving into the topic of rest for solopreneurs and small business owners to explore what rest truly means and what type is best for our mental health. Taking the coveted long vacation away from work does not prove restful in many cases. Often we find ourselves working more ahead of the vacation so work doesn’t pile up and then scrambling to get back on top when we return. The stress doesn’t leave. We don’t truly rest. So, then, what do we do in lieu of big vacation breaks? I want to talk about three key things: business friendships, integrating rest into day-to-day work, and setting the necessary time aside to teach when delegating. In exploring these three ideas - and note I did not include taking time off as a key rest point - I have found ways to incorporate rest and increase well-being. That’s what I want to share with you today: redefining how we approach rest so that it truly becomes restful. Key Moments 01:19  The study on well-being in small business 10:39 The importance of business friendships 14:05 What it looks like to integrate rest into your daily routine

  • Rest means stepping completely away from the phone, emails, and team issues
  • Half of small business owners struggle with mental health, poor sleep, and financial worries
  • The notion of active recovery can be a key component of daily rest
__ Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:  __
By |2023-11-15T15:11:33-07:00November 14th, 2023|Podcast|Comments Off on Episode 12 – Is Rest Overrated?

Episode 11 – Becoming an Anchored Leader

Today I’m talking to you about becoming an anchored leader. Before you decide to skip this episode because you think it doesn’t apply to you - you’re not a boss or a CEO, you’re not in a senior management position - know that I’m actually directly talking to you. Anchored leadership is not about having a title. It’s the ability to lead from wherever you are in whatever situation you find yourself in. I have three example stories about how anchored leadership works and what it looks like in everyday life. These are not stories from Fortune 500 companies or about high-level executives, these are stories taken from everyday life situations. Anchored leadership is about finding a connection with other people, finding that true positive community, and bridging the reality of the situation with what you want the experience to become. That’s what my stories demonstrate. Anyone can be an anchored leader. I’ll answer your questions about how to approach that connected leadership mindset. What if you’re not naturally an empathic person who acts with a high EQ? Anchored leadership is a skill and anyone can learn it. This is a critical skill we’re not taught in school or in our training, but it’s one that will serve us in every area of our career and life. Key Moments 02:53 Differentiating anchored leadership from negative manipulation 10:58 Anchored leadership from a civilian in a car accident situation 20:23 Anchored leadership isn’t about titles and a 15-year-old hockey player proves it

  • It’s important to understand your own feelings in a situation so you can assess those around you
  • What tone and feeling do you want everyone to share in the situation at hand? 
  • Find a support group to help with unpacking and learning communication skills
__ Resources discussed in this episode:
  • Anchored Leadership Academy
  • Remember, podcast listeners can get into Anchored Leadership Academy on an early bird rate for the first 20 people to register. 40% off with coupon code ANCHOREDVIP40 at check out.
__ Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:  __
By |2023-11-15T15:07:45-07:00November 7th, 2023|Podcast|Comments Off on Episode 11 – Becoming an Anchored Leader

Episode 10 – Creating Exceptional Customer Experiences

Episode Notes You want to create raving fans out of your customers and you can! You do that by creating exceptional customer experiences. Not through discounts, giving away freebies or adding overhead to your business, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m going to tell you how to give wonderful experiences to your customers with minimal stress on your end. But that relieves maximum stress on your customer’s end. I share a story about how an appliance store made my life so much easier when my freezer died by first giving me the heads-up my fridge would be next and then by offering me a loaner fridge while I waited for my ordered replacement to arrive. They solved the cause of my stress in the moment I needed it. And that’s a key to an exceptional customer experience. How can you make your customer feel seen and how can you relieve some of their stress? Customer experience that makes the customer feel special, feel VIP, feel understood and valued, that doesn’t come through freebies and discounts. It comes from anticipating the customer’s need and making small adjustments to your service to accommodate it. Maybe you check back in with customers after three weeks of them coming to your gym. Maybe it’s a personal welcome note in a hotel room. I’m going to tell you how actually easy it is to deliver the kind of experience customers will rave about. Key Moments 01:43 My appliance store customer service story 09:25 How that customer experience worked to alleviate my stress 14:35 An example of a brilliant resort strategy for guest rooms

  • What are recurring stress points for your customers that you can alleviate?
  • Do your customers feel individually seen?
  • Simple things can mean the most, it doesn’t have to upend your whole company.
__ Resources discussed in this episode:
  • Anchored Leadership Academy
  • Remember, podcast listeners can get into Anchored Leadership Academy on an early bird rate for the first 20 people to register. 40% off with coupon code ANCHOREDVIP40 at check out.
__ Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:  __
By |2023-11-15T15:07:10-07:00October 31st, 2023|Podcast|Comments Off on Episode 10 – Creating Exceptional Customer Experiences

Episode 9 – How to CEO as a Solopreneur

If you’re a solopreneur or a small business owner, there is an expectation that you’ll automatically want to also be CEO. Sometimes you don’t want to, though. Sometimes doing the frontline work is what you love about your business and you don’t want to step away from that. There are ways for you to keep doing what you love while also taking small moments of “CEO time”. I’m going to talk about how. The first thing to talk about is what CEO time actually means. There are three main roles in your business and it’s important to separate them: the provider role which is frontline, the admin role which is scheduling and invoicing and social media, and the CEO role. What does the CEO role look like? How do you accomplish it while keeping yourself invested in the other roles? I have advice for you.  Your CEO role doesn’t need to pull you out of the frontline work that you might love. And, in fact, you might decide to include a CEO in your business down the line. But while you’re a solopreneur it’s important that you understand how to carve out that big picture visionary time every so often where your head is out of the day to day and you’re looking into the future of your business. Key Moments 05:51 The three roles in business 06:37 What CEO time looks like 14:35 How to do effective market research as a solopreneur

  • How can distractions be eliminated during CEO time?
  • Focussing on wins in business is a key part of future strategy
  • How a CEO type goal is very different in nature from items on a To Do list
  __ Resources discussed in this episode:  
  • Anchored Leadership Academy
  • Remember, podcast listeners can get into Anchored Leadership Academy on an early bird rate for the first 20 people to register. 40% off with coupon code ANCHOREDVIP40 at check out.
__ Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:  __
By |2023-11-15T15:06:43-07:00October 24th, 2023|Podcast|Comments Off on Episode 9 – How to CEO as a Solopreneur

Episode 8 – How to Manage Conflict in Your Business

None of us get into business anticipating disappointing clients or having disgruntled employees. We all have the best of intentions about pleasing customers and making employees feel valued in jobs they enjoy. Unfortunately, humans have different perspectives and navigating those perspectives can lead to conflict. So how do we manage conflict when it arises in our business? The first step to developing a strategy for conflict is to reflect on how you currently manage it. Do you tend to ignore conflict, hoping it will go away? Do you feel like you need to have all the answers and scramble for a solution? Or do you immediately go on the defensive? All of these are natural responses but they aren’t effective strategies. I’m going to talk about how to work past those instinctive responses to develop a more measured plan of action. Part of conflict management is getting to the root of the issue and then being willing to address it. Simply giving in to complaints only reinforces negative behavior by rewarding it. What is the complaint really about? Could it have been preemptively avoided by inviting regular feedback from customers and employees? I’m helping you with the difficult navigation of conflict, but I’m also going to help you avoid some of it by talking about strategies that deflate complaints before they become conflicts.  Key Moments 05:36 Avoiding conflict and other ineffective methods of dealing with it 07:25 Conflict with customers 18:50 Conflict with employees

  • How do we manage when we’ve had a negative review?
  • Why getting feedback, positive and negative, is so important
  • Do employees have all the correct expectations about their roles so they can rise and obtain raises? 
__ Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:  __
By |2023-11-15T15:06:12-07:00October 17th, 2023|Podcast|Comments Off on Episode 8 – How to Manage Conflict in Your Business

Episode 7 – The 3 Rooms to Success

Do you remember the kids’ table at holiday gatherings with the family? Where perhaps too many people were crammed into too small a space so the kids were shoved to another table that felt like it wasn’t the important table to be at? That’s what inspired the idea I’m sharing with you today, the understanding of the 3 rooms we need to travel through to achieve success. The 3 rooms fit into the journey of life, of business, and of achievement. They are a series of rooms, as I envision them, that we hopefully travel through as we learn more on our journey. Not everyone will actually leave the first room. And those who make it to the second room may not leave that room either. But my hope, for myself and all of you, is that we all make it to the third room. I’ll share what each room feels like and the mindset of the people in that room. Entrepreneurs and business owners all go through every room. So the best advice I can give is to learn the lessons of each room and progress through to the next level of success. Room Three, a place of opportunity, collaboration, and conversation, is the pinnacle of the journey. What mentors can help get you there? And if you’re there, how can you bring others in?  Key Moments 06:07 Room One, the Kid Table room 09:24 Room Two, the Room of Independence  13:12 Room Three, the Mastermind Room 

  • Do you have a mentor or can you be a mentor?
  • Do you cling to the scarcity mindset, the belief that there’s not enough to go around?
  • Envision a place where people listen more than speak and collaborate willingly with each other
__ Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:  __
By |2023-11-15T15:05:42-07:00October 10th, 2023|Podcast|Comments Off on Episode 7 – The 3 Rooms to Success

Episode 6 – Guest Episode – Jillian Vukovich – Money, Mindset and Mental Heath

I’m inviting you to join the phenomenal conversation I have with my guest today, financial planner Jillian Vukovich. Wherever you are, join us as we talk frankly about money, navigating friendships as colleagues and clients, and how being human and mental health fit into business. There’s a lot to learn.
Jillian shares the very personal story of how she got into the finance industry. It’s not a place she ever imagined ending up but the way she came to it is beautiful. And who needs a financial advisor? I ask her that million-dollar question and she answers honestly. She has advice for all of us at whatever level of business we’re in.
How should we teach our kids about money? What did our parents teach us? Does being vulnerable help or hinder a business relationship? These are just some of the questions Jillian and I tackle together as we discuss the ins and outs of being an entrepreneur, a woman, a business owner, and dealing with finance.
Key Moments
15:20 Money is fluid and psychology plays a big part in finance
22:33 The pros and cons of generational financial advice
38:15 Being human in business

  • What the one-third/one-third/one-third piece of advice is all about
  • What’s the best way to manage client relationships that have also become friendships?
  • Mental health and how it drives success and understanding
About Jillian Vukovich:
Jillian has been in the financial services industry since 2011, beginning her personal practice in 2016. Jillian specializes in assisting business owners and incorporated professionals with the growth and preservation of assets, as well as the legacy of their estate. 
Jillian holds the RRC and CFP designations. 
Resources discussed in this episode: __
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:  Contact Jillian Vukovich | IG Private Wealth Management: __
By |2023-11-15T15:05:13-07:00October 3rd, 2023|Podcast|Comments Off on Episode 6 – Guest Episode – Jillian Vukovich – Money, Mindset and Mental Heath

Episode 5 – Build an Advisory Board for Your Life

Have you considered the benefits of developing an advisory board for your life? Advisory boards offer different perspectives on aspects of your business and daily life. They’re very useful. In this episode I’m talking about the different types of people who comprise an advisory board and how each can help guide you. I identify six roles for a life advisory board. Individual people who bring visionary ideas, encouragement, practical solutions, integration of logical planning, mentorship, and full stop truth telling into play when you need it. One person can’t be everything to you but an advisory board can fill all the roles you need. I’m going to explain who these people should be, how well they should know you, and how to find them. You’ll also be part of an advisory board to others in your life, so take time to figure out your own strengths and abilities. It works both ways! 1:22 What is an advisory board? 4:04 Breaking down all six of the roles you need 13:39 How to interview for those positions in your life

  • Who do you turn to for encouragement?
  • Who are the mentors who help you focus on priorities?
  • Advisory boards shine a light on blind spots in the business world, that’s what they will do for you too
Resources discussed in this episode: Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:  __ Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello and welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach, Kari Lotzien. So glad you're here. Today, I want to talk to you about developing an advisory board for your life. Now, if you haven't heard about what an advisory board is or you haven't heard that term before, let me tell you, an advisory board is typically, within an organization or a large company, they are hand-selected and then targeted for the expertise that they can bring to a team to help fill in knowledge gaps so they can help you to break into new markets or industries. They're just there for consultation, so they actually don't have what we would call voting rights like a board of directors in a company.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:56] Now, what does that have to do with life? I think that it is critical to develop your own advisory board for your life. These are a group of people just like an advisory board in a corporation that you get to hand select, that you get to build your own group that helps to be the advisors for your life. Now let's back up because many of us have family and spouses and partners and kids, employees, friends, all kinds of people who truly care about us, who are connected to our lives and truly do want what's best for us. But sometimes those relationships may have developed years ago and those people might not completely understand the goals that you have in your life right now, the things that you're ready to just let go of. Have you ever experienced someone saying to you, Oh my gosh, well, I know that you're such a this type of person, or I know that you're really good at this and you kind of cringe and go, That is just not who I am anymore. Right? This might be, you know, sometimes we run into a friend from high school or university and they'll say something and it's like, Oh, that is just, that's not who I am. Well, the same thing can happen with friendships and family members that they just don't really know or aren't aligned with where we want to be right now. Now, this doesn't mean that you need to cut those relationships or that you need to cut those people off. They can still hold a very important role in your life. This is about developing something different, like an advisory board. I feel that there are six roles in developing this team, and when you do it strategically, which I have done, it makes crazy impact on your life. Now, these are the roles.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:04] Number one. The cheerleader. This is the person that just believes in you. They adore you. They are willing to be that person that when you are starting to doubt yourself or you're having kind of that schlumpy hard day, will be the person that goes, You've got this. I know you can do it. You've done it before. I've seen you fricking rock this. Push in. You can do it. And they are there on the sidelines just believing in you. We know that being around those people just feels good. Having cheerleaders is a critical piece. And I think a lot of us have these people in our lives. I can tell you I have a couple of them. So I have people that are just there. They just believe in me. But they're not the ones who I rely on when I need to have hard conversations or really difficult feedback or they're not the ones that I rely on when I want to really dig into an idea because that's not their strong suit. The other thing with an advisory board is we need to be really cautious that we don't look to one person to serve all of our positions. Many of us want this in our partners, in our best friends, in our spouses. We need to be really cautious of this because when we put too many roles on one person, it starts to feel like too much pressure for them. So when we divide it out, it can often work so much more easily. So the first one is cheerleader.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:34] The second one is someone who is a visionary. This is the person who just loves to dream with you. They might be in the same industry as you. They might have similar interests to you or not, but they have a natural mindset where they can think big. What meetings or coffee or lunch with this person sounds like is you say, Oh, you know, I've been kind of thinking about starting a new business. I've been kind of thinking, maybe I want to take this new course and learn how to do pottery. I maybe want to learn how to paint watercolors. I want to take a course because I think I'd like to try climbing a mountain next summer. And this person goes, Oh yeah, that's amazing. And you know what else you could do with that? I was thinking about this, and they just build on your idea. This is the person who is so good at planting a seed and then just seeing what it could become as a full garden of possibility. This person tends to be a little bit higher energy. They are still very positive, but they're not the person that you're going to rely on to analyze how viable those things are. They're not the one that is going to go into all of the steps involved. Where is there a course? How can we do this? What do we need to do to set up all the individual pieces? They're just the person that allows your mind to explode with possibility.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:01] INSERT TAKE 2  Which leads me to the third person on your advisory board, which is what I would call the integrator. This is the person who is really good at strategy and logic. They're the ones that can take that big idea, once you've decided I really want to take my chance on this, and they say, Okay let's break it down. Where do we go? What do we need? What are the steps involved? How are we going to get there? And they put it into a step by step format. That person has, again, a very different role. If you rely on someone who is more of that strategy, logic, integrator personality, and what you're hoping from them is that they are your cheerleader, this is the person that sometimes if we're needing reassurance or if we're wanting to just explore a big idea and we are looking for them to be our cheerleader or the partner visionary, when we ask this person, it can sound almost like they don't believe in us. That they just make things hard and they ask us the hard questions and, well, how are you going to do that? And where do you find? And it's almost like they put the brakes on the plan before the plan gets started. But this person is still very necessary in integrating one step to another. I can tell you, naturally I'm a great visionary. I love thinking of 42 ideas of what we could do in a business. My natural tendency, I'm not as strong, especially in my own business, on the strategy, logic and integration side. I don't really like to break things down into really small steps to think about, okay, I need to do this and then this and then this. Often when I go into that, I get kind of deflated and it starts to feel hard and it starts to feel like too much. Someone who's really good in this role will be able to show you the step by step progress that you can make towards your goal without it feeling like they're kind of putting the water on your fire.(INSERT TAKE  They're helping you to align it, but you want to utilize that person in the way that that's their kryptonite, that's their strength, is breaking those things down.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:17] The next person you want on your advisory board. Number four is the expert or the mentor. This is someone who has gone before you, someone who has climbed that mountain, who has taken that course, who's developed that business. This person is going to be kind of your guide. They're not going to tell you what to do exactly. They're not going to be, you know, the person who says they're a boss and you must do it exactly the way I did. This is a person who helps you to really lean in to what's important. They help you to focus on your priorities, on that 20% of your attention or your energy that is going to contribute to 80% of your success. This person, I believe, helps to show you the possibility. They've gone ahead, you can see easily that this is what it looks like. This is what's possible in human form. This is the person that you can start to pair with your strategy, logic, integrator advisory person. When these two pieces come together, it helps to just give you the map or the framework to say, Here's how you get from where you are now to where you want to be.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:34] The last person. And I can tell you this is a very important but very difficult role to fill. It's the tell it like it is person. And I can tell you that this is a person that they have to have some serious hutzpah. This is a person that loves you and you know it. You know deep down that they're willing to share the hard stuff. They're willing to tell you what they truly see. But they know your soul, they know you at your core, and you love them at their core, because this is the person who, a) has the potential to really help you to set a course to help you overcome some of the big obstacles, the blind spots that you might not even see. But they also can have the potential to really hurt you because they know you so well that they can hit that really tender place in you that can make everything else start to crumble. I can tell you my person who is my tell it like it is person is my brother-in-law, Devon. I was terrified of the boy when I first met him. I'm not going to lie for probably the first 10-15 years that I knew him, I was a little intimidated because he's the person that lives his life in full stop truth. He says it like it is. And when I was young, when I was just, I didn't have my feet on the ground, I didn't have a lot of confidence. I didn't have that sense of I knew what I was doing in the world. And I felt like when he looked at me, he knew it. He saw all of my insecurities. He absolutely knew that it was all a show. I was trying to appear as someone who knew what they were doing, and I really wasn't. But over time, as we've gotten to know each other, I can now see his heart. And he sees mine. He cares in the biggest way, but he holds this space that when I ask him a question and when I say to him, This is what I need to know, I am going to get the full stop truth. It often stings a little when it first comes sometimes, other times, absolutely he's like, No, no, you're on the right track. You've got it. This is what I see. He will also sometimes bounce into my cheerleader position where he's the one that knows how hard I've been working or how difficult a situation is, and he'll be the one that'll just pop into my inbox and be like, You got this, You're incredible. So he can hold those two roles for me. I would say it is a long position to gain a ton of trust with someone to be able to do this. This role can break friendships, but it can also make them as strong as superglue.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:39] Now, when you're interviewing for these types of positions, I remember years ago when someone said to me, You know, you might have to get on a plane to go and see your best friend to help get these people in your life that are going to help you to get to that next step. And I remembered thinking, well, that's crazy. Like, I have so many great people in my life. I have people who believe in me and who support me. And I know where I need to go. I know intelligent people. As I've gotten older and as my goals and my life is kind of being massaged into something a little bit different. In first episode, I talked about revisiting your why, if you have developed your advisory team when you were in your 20s and they loved and cared about you and they knew you really well back then and they gave you advice. So at that time it might have been, you know, your parents, your spouse, your partner, it might have been your very best friend at the time. But if you're now 20, 25, 30 years from that time in your life and you have the exact same people sitting on your advisory board, I will challenge you. Are those people keeping you stuck in the person that you were 20, 25, 30 years ago? Have they evolved with you? Have they made the investment in knowing who you are now and they support that growth. They support those changes in how you're working towards maybe letting go of things that weren't working for you anymore, but they're not holding you in those roles. Again, you can love and have relationships with those people. You don't have to cut them out, but you can not have them hold a position on your advisory board in your life as it is right now.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:29] You want to make sure that the people who are on your advisory board now in your life are people who know your current goals. Your current dreams. They know your fears. And that they are truly qualified to hold the role that they're holding. Ask yourself if you're really wanting your partner to be the cheerleader in your life but naturally, they're more of an integrator, they're more of the questioner. Put things in order. They're the ones who likes to poke holes in your theory. That's their natural strength. Don't try to convert your partner or your best friend who has that natural strength and talent into being your cheerleader. Don't get upset about it. Don't get resentful and say, You know, I just wish you believed in me and this is what that would look like. Because what you're doing is you're trying to make them something they're not. Go and look for someone who is a natural cheerleader in your life who's aligned with your current goals and dreams. It might be someone who's really close to you and it might not be. It might be someone online as a friendship. It might be someone in a group coaching program that you're in. You may have to pay to get time with some of these people, and that's okay. What you're doing is you're developing that sense of team because naturally you are going to be one of these roles more easily with yourself.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:03] For me, I'm naturally more of a visionary. I love to have big ideas, but then I can get a little bit tripped up because I'm not necessarily a strong cheerleader for myself. I tend to be kind of a little bit of a Debbie Downer when it comes to my own ideas. I can go from visionary to absolutely quashing that idea very quickly. So it's important for me that I have someone who can hold that role of cheerleader in my life, who can keep me going when those times are hard and they recognize kind of when they need to step in. I always have someone in my life who is holding that expert mentor or coach role, and sometimes I will have 3 or 4 of them in different areas of my life. So right now I have an expert and a mentor in my business portion. I actually have three of them in my business portion for different areas. So I have someone in the area who's doing more of like an online presence, developing digital programs, that piece. I have someone who is helping me with my copywriting and my brand voice and building that part. And then I have someone who is more of that strategic logic person who's developing my business plan and my long term vision. So I actually have three people on my advisory board currently who are holding that role just in my business. And then I also have someone who's helping me with some of my health issues and building more movement that aligns with kind of what my body needs right now, what I need to move into this next stage, you know, in my late 40s so that I'm aging well. I have someone who's the cheerleader in all of those different roles.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:52] As you move into this? I guarantee doing life by yourself, it's not the way anymore. It's not about getting into our own heads and kind of just absorbing ourselves into our own minds. When you develop a strong advisory board with people who are wanting to move their life forward too, know that you also hold this role in other people's lives, you hold that role for other people's advisory board. In my daughter's life, I am absolutely her cheerleader. That is my favorite role to hold with her because I just can continue to love on her, let her know that I believe in her and just keep pushing how amazing I think she is. I believe I do that really well. In the business world with clients with close friends who are also business owners, I can hold that visionary role with them and get really excited and light them up. And then I can also sometimes flip into that strategy logic, let's put things in order, where do we go from here? In certain industries I can absolutely hold that expert mentor coach position, especially when it comes to business. But I would never hold the expert mentor or coach role maybe when it comes to fitness or when it comes to a completely different area that I'm not comfortable with it. So do you see how we can absorb this? We can hold different roles for different people, but as you start to build your own advisory board, this moves your life forward exponentially. The reason that corporations and big companies have advisory boards is because it shines a light on the blind spots in the business that they may have not even considered. If they have a really close group that is working in the business and they all kind of have similar strengths and patterns to how they work, they might bring someone into their advisory board who's more of a creative mind or who thinks very differently than they do because it allows them to see things that they could not see from within. It allows that kind of bird's eye view, being able to see the whole picture that is priceless. The value that they get in that role is huge. There are several people in it. So I'm so curious. Please reach out. Go and comment on posts that you see on my social media. Send me an email. I want to hear the people that are lighting up your advisory board or if you're struggling and you feel like you really have a gap in your advisory board and you're looking for that support and kind of building that next phase of your life, let's chat. Let's see if we can start to create more community around these next steps. I am your host, Kari Lotzien, with Be the Anchor, business and leadership coach. Thanks for being here. We'll chat soon.  

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:02] Hey, my friends, are you a business owner that has survived that startup phase of business? You know how to hustle. You know how to work hard. You've got paying customers and from the outside looking in, you feel you've achieved a certain level of success in your business. You really care about the service and the quality that you provide to your clients or customers, but deep down you know that to go to that next level, you can't keep going at this pace. You're busy and you want to still have a life outside of your business. I am launching the Anchored Leadership group coaching program. Doors open October of 2023. This program is designed for business owners like you who need to develop their teams, who want to make more money and establish their business without just squeezing more into their day and stretching their limits even further. We are going to talk about everything from strategy to really digging into the nitty gritty. It's a combination of training, workbooks and live coaching. If you want to learn more, click on the link in the show notes, we'll book a discovery call and you can find out if this is a great fit for you. Thanks so much. We'll chat soon.
By |2023-11-15T15:04:41-07:00September 26th, 2023|Podcast|Comments Off on Episode 5 – Build an Advisory Board for Your Life
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